By Vivian
Li
On a brisk afternoon, Sharon exchanged text messages with her daughter who left home for three years and was studying in college. They chatted back and forth, and her daughter replied with positive statements followed by a big smile and a heart. Sharon was glad that her daughter seemed to be living happily alone. Her daughter committed suicide later that night. It came to light that Sharon’s daughter had been showing signs of depression for a long time.
This story tells us about the lack of reality in electronic communication. Moreover, social media has led the younger generation today to ignore face-to-face communication causing them to be deficient of interpersonal communication skills. In order for youths not to be face-to-face communication outcasts, they are encouraged to go outside and interact because face-to face communication prevents misunderstandings of messages, creates more immediacy of the conversation and enhances the building of a strong relationship.
To begin with, although electronic communication saves the time for setting up a meeting, messages will possibly be misunderstood between exchanging texts. Dr. Albert Mehrabian, author of Silent Messages, found that only 7% of day to day communication is based on written or verbal word, the other 93% is based on nonverbal body language. Indeed, nonverbal communications such as tone, facial expression or body language convey the message in a greater meaning than verbal expression does. When people are face to face, they can observe each other’s reactions. For example, when observing someone who frequently checks his or her watch or averts eye contact, we can infer that he or she is impatient. In addition, back and forth texts sending may be confusing when someone is trying to make a decision.
Cognitive psychologist Fred Conrad says that people are more likely to disclose sensitive information via text messages than through face-to-face communication. Certainly, responses through electronic communication may not be genuine; what is written on the text might be very different from what the sender is truly feeling. It is only when we can hear a tone of voice or see eye contact that we can decide whether the person means it or not. Therefore, with face-to-face communication, the message is less likely to be misinterpreted.
Furthermore, face-to-face communication makes the action of giving and receiving messages happen right away. A study from Kaiser Family Foundation found out that teenagers from eight to eighteen spend more than ten hours a day on average using social media. Surely, emails and texts can take from a few seconds to a few minutes to be received and the conversation can be dragged on and on. Compared to the face-to-face communication, the effect happens at once—speakers speak, listeners listen and react. The give-and-receive process does not require any waiting time and the results come out immediately.
On the other hand, too many exchanges of text are not as efficient as face-to-face communication. Conversation can be carried on swiftly through face-to-face communication and any doubt regarding the topic can be resolved immediately. Also, while two people are texting online, they might be replying to the message and also doing other tasks, thus taking time to reply. Therefore, face-to-face communication saves people lots of time to have an efficient conversation.
Eventually, face-to-face communication can build a stronger bond between people. With someone who we already have an established relationship, an email of greetings will be sufficient; but for someone we meet for the first time, a meeting in person is necessary to establish a lasting relationship. The reason for a face-to-face communication to have a great effect on establishing relationships is the personal touch. Personal touch gives an impression of warmth and caring between personal bonds. DePauw University psychologist Matthew says, "With the face and voice, in general we can identify just one or two positive signals that are not confused with each other, but it seems instead that touch is a much more nuanced, sophisticated, and precise way to communicate emotions."
This research also shows that touch can communicate multiple emotions, like joy, love, gratitude and sympathy. Meeting the person face to face gives the chance for a personal touch and the foundation of credibility can be built through a warm handshake/hug. " A limp handshake signifies uncertainty, low enthusiasm, introversion, while a vise-like grip can be taken as a sign that we're trying to dominate. We want to have a firm but not bone-crushing handshake," San Diego State University School of Communication professor Peter Andersen advises. In addition, people feel more connected to someone if they receive personal touch. Therefore, the personal touch plays a powerful role in face-to-face communication.
In brief, the younger generation should be expected to go out and interact face-to-face. Face-to-face communication is more effective than electronic communication in interpretation, immediacy and the establishment of a relationship. How the nonverbal cues can influence a conversation makes face-to-face communication an essential form of communication. Gerald Stark, vice president of education and product development at The Fillauer Companies Inc. said, “There’s a lot we can do with phone and email, but so much of the message or meaning gets lost. It’s important to meet the person in their own context because context really defines what they’re relating to. When we miss that with different kinds of communication instruments, we miss out on some of that meaningful communication.”
People should try to change their habit of electronic communicating so they will not neglect nonverbal information that complements the message. Also, changing their habit of communication will also give people a more satisfying relationship which in return makes them significantly happier.
